This is my first post on my new blog Kingston~Republic. I have finally gotten over the loss of my old blog site but my loathing for Hostgator remains. This first post will be short and sweet. Let’s get started. Why am I in Cape Town? I remember being in a mad dash to complete my application for the USAID Research and Innovation Fellowship
Like most graduate students, my email inbox is often flooded by university notices, call for papers, and message from professors. To say it is overwhelming would be an understatement. I usually don’t read them all so it was a bit of luck that I was focused on checking past emails that day. I saw that I only had three days left to submit my application but I knew could do it!
Having visited South Africa in April 2016 for one month, I was certain of one thing when I left; I would return. This fellowship application offered me that opportunity, but what would I research? My current status is a doctoral student, in one year I will be a doctoral candidate but WHAT THE HELL IS MY DISSERTATION TOPIC? This question stays on my mind. I have been told by countless people ranging from professors to friends to colleagues, “don’t worry, it will come organically”. Well, I worry. I am not interested in being an ABD (All But Dissertation), so I must worry. Yes, I know worrying is pointless. We can discuss the pointlessness of worry next time.
I saw the fellowship as an opportunity to explore research topics and area of study. I immediately got to work on my application. I sent the first draft to people I trusted to offered suggestions for improvement then it was off! I was confident in the research proposal I submitted. This is not always the case. My research seeks to examine the role renewable energy training programs play in employment prospects and overall improvement in the lives of participants. I will also be looking at the characteristics of such programs.
Acceptance! I stated that I was confident in my submitted proposal, yet when I received the acceptance letter, I didn’t believe it and thought perhaps it was not very competitive. This is a constant struggle for me. The imposter syndrome. A professor and friend told me this is the case for many black women in academia. We must learn to accept the fruits of our labor. That is for another post.
USAID fellowship is a two month fully funded research endeavor. Flight to SA, housing while in SA and a small bi-weekly stipend; sweet! How did I get so lucky? Wait, I need to replace this with: I am so lucky that my hard work paid off.
-Until you read again
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